Somewhere between the ghosting, the “hey” openers and the sixth person this week who lists “hiking and brunch” as a personality, it’s easy to forget that dating is supposed to be fun. (No shade if you actually love brunch.)
Nearly 8 in 10 Gen Z daters say they’re burnt out by dating apps, and honestly? That’s not a coincidence.
Most apps are designed to keep you scrolling, not help you leave them in a relationship. So if you’re feeling a bit over it, that’s not on you.
The good news is there are genuinely better ways to meet people, and we’ve pulled together our favourite tips for meeting people without dating apps.
Let’s get into it 🙂
1. Say yes to more social invitations (yes, even the ones you’d normally sack off)
We get it, after a long week, a sofa and a Netflix queue is genuinely very tempting. But some of the best connections happen in the moments you nearly didn’t show up to.
A friend’s birthday, a colleague’s leaving do, a gig you only bought tickets for because they were on offer. You might start chatting to someone you’ve never met before and still be texting them three weeks later.
Meeting through mutual friends remains a solid way to find a real connection, with around 15% of couples saying that’s exactly how they met. Your mates might genuinely be your most underrated matchmaking resource.
Say yes a bit more (you can always leave early!)
2. Become a regular somewhere
Did you know that over half of Gym Group’s Gen Z members say they’ve formed a new friendship through working out? This tells you a lot about where the real connections are happening right now.
A coffee shop. The climbing wall. The same pub quiz every Thursday.
These places work because nobody’s trying too hard. You keep seeing the same faces and soon, conversations start to happen naturally. One day you realise you’ve gone from recognising someone to actually knowing them.
That’s the magic of becoming a regular somewhere. Show up to the same place often enough, and it stops being a room full of strangers. And when you already feel comfortable around someone, the jump from friendly chat to asking them out for a drink feels a lot less scary.
3. Join something based on what you actually like
This one sounds obvious, but it’s underrated. Whatever your thing is, whether it’s pottery or D&D, other people will be into it too, and some of them will be single.
The reason it works so well is simple: you already have something in common before you’ve even said hello. No forced small talk, no performing for a stranger. Just two people who both show up to the same book club, run club, or ceramics night every week.
When you’re doing something you enjoy alongside the same people every week in these little communities, the closeness builds without you even noticing. No agenda, no pressure, just a shared interest and enough time for it to turn into something real.
If you’re not sure where to meet people as an adult, have a look online or on local community boards for groups or classes based on what you’re into. You’d be surprised how many there are!
4. Be a bit cringe
Somewhere along the way, we all got a bit too cool to try.
Chatting to someone you don’t know at a party? Risky. Telling your mates you’d actually love to be set up? Embarrassing. Going to a dating event on your own? Most people would rather do a full Tesco shop on Saturday afternoon.
But the people who actually meet someone? They’re usually the ones who were willing to feel a tiny bit awkward first. They went up to someone and just said hi, even though their heart was beating out of their chest. They asked for someone’s number after a gig. They sent the “lovely to meet you” text the next morning instead of playing it cool for three days.
Sometimes they’re not interested and that stings for about ten minutes. But you move on, and nobody’s ever actually died from a bit of rejection (we checked).
The bar for what counts as “cringe” has got so low that basically any form of sincerity qualifies now. But sincerity is literally how people connect. Always has been. (We actually wrote a whole piece on why singles are leaving dating apps behind if you fancy a deeper dive.)
So lean into it. Be the person who tries. We promise it’s worth it.
5. Try an IRL dating event (but pick the right one)
The problem with a lot of big singles events isn’t the idea, it’s the execution. Fill a venue with 300 people, turn the music up, and just hope everyone figures it out? That’s not much of a plan.
That’s exactly why we built Haystack.
Instead of throwing hundreds of single people into one room and hoping for the best, we match small groups before the event even starts. You answer a few questions, our algorithm does its thing, then our team checks every group by hand, as humans are still quite good at this sort of thing.
And if you’re worried about coming on your own, don’t be!
94% of our guests come solo. Everyone’s thinking the same thing on the way there. Then five minutes later they’re wondering why they were nervous. Our reps are on hand to make introductions, and there’s a fun activity to keep things flowing, so it never feels awkward.
Before long, you’re chatting over a drink with a group of genuinely lovely people who also happen to be single. No swiping, no speed dating, just good conversation, kind people and cold pints.
We’re live in London, Manchester, Cardiff, Leeds, Bristol, Newcastle, Birmingham, Glasgow and Edinburgh.
Tickets are priced £20 – £30, and you’ll spend the evening meeting people you’ve actually been matched with instead of endlessly swiping from your sofa.
Fancy it? Sign up here and we’ll see you for a drink soon xx