In a world of endless swiping and conversations that somehow never make it off-screen, meeting someone IRL sounds pretty appealing. But actually booking yourself onto a dating event? Different story.
Maybe you’d happily spend a Friday night having a drink with a group of new people. Call it a dating event, though, and there’s a lot more riding on it.
And there’s been plenty of chat recently about why men, in particular, aren’t always signing up for singles events. Are they not interested? Is it the whole setup? Or does calling something a ‘dating event’ make it feel like a much bigger deal?
Maybe it’s not just about whether you want to meet someone, but how you’re expected to go about it. There’s a big difference between an evening that feels relaxed and social, and one that makes you feel like you’re there to find a date before the night is over.
So, are dating events worth it? Absolutely, but a lot depends on what you count as a win. A number at the end? Great. The only reason for going? Absolutely not.
And luckily, dating events don’t all look the same. So, let’s get into what’s actually out there, what happens when you turn up and how to find one that feels a bit more you.
Why Can Dating Events Feel So High-Pressure?
There’s this idea that you need to turn up armed with your best chat, make a brilliant first impression and hopefully leave with someone’s number (no pressure).
And for men in particular, there’s still an expectation that you’ll make the first move. Who do you approach? When do you go over? Do they actually want you to? Suddenly, saying hello has become a whole strategy.
It’s why we don’t think men skipping singles events means they’re not interested in meeting someone. Maybe it’s the way they’re being asked to do it that doesn’t sound all that appealing.
Makes sense really. If a whole evening is geared around finding a romantic match, every conversation can feel like it needs to go somewhere.
But that doesn’t mean dating events themselves are the problem. The right one can actually take some of that pressure away by giving you something to do, something to talk about or simply a reason to be in the same room as other single people.
And these days, there are plenty of ways to do it.
What Counts as a Dating Event?
When you hear ‘dating event’, your mind might immediately go to speed dating. You know the drill: two people, a few minutes to chat, bell rings, onto the next. That works for some people.
But it’s definitely not the only way to meet people IRL.
These days, singles events come in all shapes and sizes, like cooking classes, pub quizzes, miniature golf, and even climbing gym nights. And it seems plenty of us fancy something a bit different.
Attendance at game-based dating events has quadrupled, while athletic singles events have seen a 136% jump. Clearly, sitting opposite someone and making small talk isn’t the only way to do this.
Some events are all about finding a romantic match, while others give you something fun to do and a bunch of new people to meet along the way.
That difference matters. If five-minute mini-dates aren’t your idea of a fun Friday night, it doesn’t mean singles events aren’t for you. It might just mean you haven’t found your kind of event yet.
At Haystack, for example, we skip the rounds of one-to-one dates altogether. Instead, we introduce you to groups of people we think you’ll get on with and let things unfold from there. Maybe there’s a spark, maybe you make a new mate. Either way, there’s no conveyor belt of mini-dates to sit through.
So, what does that actually look like when you turn up?
What Actually Happens at a Haystack Event?
Okay, so what are you actually signing yourself up for?
Before the event, everyone fills in a short questionnaire based on research we did into what helps people form meaningful connections. It’s not just a case of sticking everyone who likes dogs on the same table.
There’s loads going on behind the scenes.
We use our own matching system, built in Python (oooh, fancy), to put the groups together. Then we mix up what matters most in each round, so your second group isn’t just a reshuffled version of your first.
Then an actual human checks every profile, catches anything that looks off and makes sure the ages work. We also check the mix of men and women in every group, so it actually feels like a singles event, not like some blokes have wandered into a hen do.
We even think about where each group sits in the venue, based on who we think will get on and where they’ll have the best time.
It takes hours to put every event together. Which is probably a bit obsessive, but we’d rather do that than chuck a load of single people in a room and hope for the best.
When you arrive, our lovely team is there to welcome you and make the introductions. And if you’re coming on your own, you’ll be in good company. 94% of people come to Haystack events solo.
You’ll get to know your group and, depending on the event, meet another group or two along the way. It’s all done in groups rather than one-to-one, so there’s no spotlight on you and no need to work out who to approach.
Sometimes you meet someone and think date, sometimes you think new mate. Both are a win in our book.
And with live music, arcade games or whatever else is going on, you’re not standing around waiting for romance to happen either.
So, Are Dating Events Worth It?
Yep, they absolutely can be. But we’d be a little suspicious of anyone promising you’ll meet the love of your life before last orders.
A good singles event shouldn’t only feel worthwhile if you leave with someone’s number. Ideally, it should be a night you’d actually want to go to anyway: somewhere you’ll enjoy being, with interesting people to meet and something fun to do. Much nicer than another evening doom-scrolling on the apps.
And if part of you still thinks going to a singles event sounds a bit desperate, strip the label away for a second.
You’re going somewhere fun, doing something you enjoy and meeting a bunch of new people along the way. New friends, a new favourite activity or a fun night out are all pretty ace reasons to go in the first place.
You might really click with someone while you’re there. Fab. But if you don’t? You can still head home having had a bloody good night.
See you there 🙂
