Who should pay on the first date? It’s the dating etiquette debate that refuses to die. In 2026, with modern dating costs higher than ever (think £16 cocktails, £20 Ubers, and a Friday night gone in a flash), deciding who pays on a first date is a bigger deal than ever for singles in the UK and beyond.
The Real Cost of First Dates in 2026
For a lot of people, the prospect of dropping £50+ and half a Friday night—only to be left on read by Sunday—has made dating feel less like fun and more like a financial risk. It’s no wonder so many singles are spending more time talking online, or skipping dates altogether until the cost of living crisis gets its own happy ending.
What Real People Say About Paying on Dates
“I want to pay for everything—she doesn’t lift a finger. If I’m taking her out, it’s my treat. I like to spoil her, and if she wants dessert, three cocktails, and an Uber home, she’s getting it.”— 34, London, owns at least four watches
“I work hard, I’m juggling medicine and a part-time job. I’d appreciate splitting the bill on a first date. My time is valuable too—it shouldn’t just be on me.”— 27, Leeds, coffee always in hand
“Look, I’ll be honest, I’m not paying more than she is. I usually collect vouchers and coupons so I can get a free side of chips or something, and that’s a nice contribution—but hell no, we’re splitting tips too.”— 29, Manchester, proud owner of a loyalty card collection
“I don’t mind paying as long as she isn’t disrespectful. I can’t stand girls who order three of the most expensive cocktails and expect an Uber home. I’m not a cash machine.”— 33, London, allergic to gold diggers
“Of course I always pay on the first date. After that, we can go more even. First impressions are important!”— 31, Bristol, owns actual cufflinks
“If he doesn’t pay for me, I’m gone. I expect gifts too, and nice dates. If you’re not going to treat me, what’s the point?”— 26, London, unapologetically high standards
“For the first date, him. I want a gentleman, and I really believe if he likes you, he’ll want to pay and make a good impression. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t care. Also, my shower, makeup, and hair routine probably cost me £50 xx”— 28, Birmingham, flawless winged eyeliner
“What century are we in?? Of course everything should be even. We all work hard, we all have bills, and in this economy… no way. For my birthday, yes, or if you really want to treat me, but as a general rule: even stevens.”— 27, Cardiff, spreadsheet queen
So… Who Should Pay on the First Date?
So, who should really pay on the first date? Some people see paying as a gesture, some see it as a test, and some just see it as a bill that needs splitting before the Uber arrives. There’s no universal rule—it’s about what works for you, and what feels respectful on both sides.
But if you’re feeling the pinch, you’re not alone. Dating is expensive, and nobody should feel pressured to bankroll a stranger’s night out. If you want to split, say so. If you want to treat, own it. If you want to collect loyalty points on a first date, honestly, respect.
Modern Dating, Modern Rules
At the end of the day, the only real red flag is someone who makes you feel bad for whatever you’re comfortable with. If they care, they’ll want you to feel comfortable—whether that means splitting the bill, swapping rounds, or just agreeing that the best dates are the ones where nobody’s stressed about money.
What do you think—who should pay on the first date? Share your thoughts in the comments below, or check out more modern dating advice on our Haystack blog.
P.s if you want to go on multiple dates and just pay for one… head to a Haystack event x