Let’s Talk Situationships: What Is a Situationship & How to Get Clarity
What is a situationship? A situationship is a romantic or sexual relationship that isn’t clearly defined and lacks commitment. Unlike a traditional relationship, a situationship is often ambiguous, leaving one or both people uncertain about where they stand.
If you’re dating in 2026, you’ve either been in a situationship, are currently in one, or have a friend who can’t stop talking about theirs. Situationships are everywhere—messy, confusing, sometimes fun, sometimes emotionally exhausting. So why do we get stuck in these not-quite-relationships?
Real-Life Situationship Stories
“I keep telling myself it’s a slow burn and that good things take time. But most of the time I’m just staring at my phone, trying to convince myself that a three-day gap between replies is ‘just how he is’ and not a sign I’m an afterthought.”—27, woman dating men
The slow burn. We tell ourselves it’s romantic, but often it’s just anxiety with better PR. When you’re waiting for a text that might never come, it’s easy to confuse patience with wishful thinking.
“We do all the normal couple things—dinners, Sunday sleepovers, meeting each other’s friends—but I still hesitate before using the word ‘boyfriend’. It makes me feel slightly stupid, like I’m playing house with someone who might not even see it the same way.”—29, man dating women
Situationships can feel like real relationships—until you try to use the R-word. The lack of clarity can make you question your own reality, even when everything looks official from the outside.
“I keep saying I’m easy-going and ‘not looking for anything serious’ because I don’t want to scare him off. Then I lie awake after he leaves, picking apart every comment and wondering if I’ve imagined the whole thing. Out loud I’m relaxed; in my head I’m anything but.”—25, woman dating men
Pretending to be chill is practically a dating rite of passage. But let’s be honest: most of us are just trying to protect ourselves from disappointment, even if it means lying to ourselves.
Why Do We Stay in Situationships?
But not everyone hates the ambiguity:
“It actually works for me. I like having someone to go to gigs and dinners with, and then going home to my own space. I don’t want to merge lives, meet parents or talk about mortgages right now, so the lack of commitment feels more like breathing room than a problem.”—30, man dating women
“I like that we haven’t had the big ‘what are we’ talk. We enjoy each other, we keep our own lives and there’s no pressure to map out the next five years. I know that would be a nightmare for some people, but for me, right now, the lack of commitment feels like the whole point.”—26, man dating women
For some, situationships are the perfect middle ground—company and intimacy, minus the pressure. But even then, there’s usually a clock ticking somewhere in the background.
“I don’t think it’s a situationship, I think he’s just slow. He’s consistent, he turns up when he says he will and he’s kind. He just freezes when the conversation gets close to labels. I’m choosing to see it as a slow burn, but I’m also aware there’s a point where that stops being romantic and just becomes avoidance.”—31, woman dating men
“At first I told myself it was a slow burn and that we were just taking our time. But a slow burn still moves forward. This feels like it’s stuck on the same setting: same conversations, same vague plans, no real shift. It’s starting to feel less romantic and more like a holding pattern.”—24, man dating women
Situationships can start out feeling hopeful, but it’s easy for that hope to turn into frustration if nothing changes. The hardest part? Figuring out when it’s time to ask for more—or walk away.
How to Get Clarity in a Situationship
If you’re unhappy in a situationship and feeling anxious, confused, or just plain fed up, here’s honest advice: be open and communicate how you feel. If you have no idea where you stand, if you’re overthinking every message, or lying awake wondering where it’s going—the best thing you can do is speak up.
Don’t spend time worrying in silence, and don’t tell yourself that being honest will ‘ruin it’. The only way you’ll ruin it is if it wasn’t right in the first place. You deserve someone who is certain about you. So just be honest. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for bringing up the topic. Whatever happens, clarity is always better than endless overthinking. Here’s to wanting more, and not settling for less.
Have you been in a situationship? Check out more modern dating advice on our Haystack blog.